Week One

Diary of a Stay-at-Home Dad…

Day One.

Feeling pretty good. Got some things done. Fed the baby. Made a dinner menu for the week. Went grocery shopping (only spent $60.00!). Made dinner, even included the side dish! Salad.

Day Two.

So, two days into my new job (stay at home dad) and I already got written up. I volunteered...VOLUNTEERED to do the grocery shopping. My wife warned, "Make a list and only get what's on the list."

I showed up, with three kids in tow, 'NO problem,' I said to myself. I had made a menu and was ready to show my wife that I could do this! $60 later, I started thinking, "Man! I got a week's worth of food for $60! Why can't my wife do this?" (herein was my downfall). When I got home, we put the foods away and made dinner.

The next day, lunch time rolls around. "What are we going to eat for lunch?" my wife asks. Ummmmmmm...(pregnant pause on my part). I thought to myself, "When in the last 14 years have I been home for lunch?" Then my wife broke the silence, "You didn't think about lunch, did you?"

I'm officially on probation...

Day Three

Homemade Kale Chips. Broil doesn't work. Apparently, the leaves have to slowly cook...Who knew?!

Also, homemade bread tastes really good when you add 2x as much honey as it calls for.

My wife actually liked the bread...the bread has the texture of a firm cupcake and is quite sweet. BUT...she did say that it needed to cook a little longer.

Apparently, people don't like the center of their bread mushy. You know, if you drop it in soup you really wouldn't be able to tell...much...I guess the recipe book really does mean 40 minutes. The tops were brown and I did the whole "lick your finger tap the bottom of the pan, listen for the sizzle, if it sizzles it's done" thing.

Dusting...avoided...again.

Vacuuming...avoided...again.

I'm doing GREAT on this stay-at-home thing! What adventure awaits tomorrow?
I'm feeling more confident than ever!

Day 4

Whose idea was it to buy all those cloth diapers?! Do you have any idea how messy that can be? I took care of it...I went through 25 wet wipes and still got it all over my hands. When do 13 month-olds start using the potty?

The kids took their cold-cut sandwiches to school today for lunch on homemade bread...yep...the loaf I made. The first loaf of bread from last night is gone.

The second loaf rose much more than the first. I was so impressed with myself...until I cut into it. Now I know how they make donuts...about 1/3 of the entire loaf of bread was air.

Decided to make another loaf or two of bread...got out the flour, honey, salt, eggs, etc., etc., etc. Then came the direction about the yeast...I had used up all the yeast yesterday! So, off to the store I went, 1 year-old in tow. Screaming in the back seat giving me sign language for 'eat' nearly the whole way. Thank goodness the store is only 1 mile away.

Found the yeast, then remembered I hadn't bought anything for lunches...took care of that. Avoided the cookie aisle but found the yogurt, cheese in case I get the bread done before then for grilled cheese, got some aluminum foil for cookouts, ziplock bags for sandwiches, some baking powder and some magoes for smoothies. I checked out...paid the machine...bagged the groceries...all with an infant in the car seat sitting pleasantly, thank goodness. Then I remembered the coupons in my pocket. To the customer service counter. They took care of that for me. I am beginning to understand this whole grocery-shopping thing is an art...so...practice can only make me better at it. Right?

So much for the grilled cheese sandwiches that were supposed to be for dinner tonight. The bread recipe I started with indicated the dough had to 'chill' for so long in the fridge, I wouldn't get the loaf out of the oven until nearly bedtime with the kids. So, out came the tortillas. Quesadillas it was! Easiest dinner ever! (my wife actually made the dinner tonight...I was busy, on the phone. I CAN multi-task, The kids were screaming they were hungry before I was able to get to the dinner, that's all). After dinner she started talking about dinner for tomorrow and what she was going to make. I told her, "Hey, you're working...I'm on dinner duty." Her response was quick and to the point: 'You're fired."

Dishes got done today, but I think my wife helped. I know I was busy today I just can't remember everything I did.

Oh, I did take a nap today. I was exhausted! I even had the baby in the room with me...but at some point, my wife came in and took the baby, which later made me nearly have a coronary because I awoke only to find the baby missing from the room on the second floor (baby gates can't be trusted...I found that out already too).

This stay-at-home-dad thing isn't that bad.

Dusting: I'll do that tomorrow.
Vacuuming: Tomorrow.

I did overhear my wife say, though I don't know if she was talking to me or not, but she said something like, "We're going to have to have a family meeting to talk about chores." Now, I've been working pretty hard around here, so I hope she isn't thinking about putting more on these shoulders. Then again, that 'probation' thing is still hanging over me.

Day 5

Today I was banished from the kitchen except for cleaning dishes, which I was allowed to do (I only emptied ½ the dishwasher before I got distracted, so my wife emptied the rest). I got home too late to fix breakfast (that’s another story entirely), then my wife fixed lunch while I was doing another ‘chore’.

She took a break from her work several times today. The first was to spend 2½ hours with me…Yeah, I thought...maybe…Nope…so the newly weeded yard looks pretty good!

I took our youngest son on a walk today to put him to sleep for his afternoon nap. We went to the ‘Local Neighborhood Library’ (essentially a box of books in a neighbor's yard). Of all the books available to me, I chose the one that best fits my current needs: Basic Baking, by Lora Brody, author of The Kitchen Guide (maybe there’s hope for me yet—positive thinking, positive thinking, positive thinking).

On the way home from the walk, we found a cement truck unloading its load. So, we watched for a while. 1½ hours later, and STILL not asleep, my walking companion and I returned home.

I didn't get to the bread-making today--it was planned, just didn't get to it--so I think I'll make a run to the store for a loaf or two of bread...

When dinner time rolled around, the kids came to the deck and yelled for me, “Dad, mom said ‘dinner’s ready’!” I really had planned on making dinner...it was supposed to be a cookout...I was just wondering where I was going to find any dry wood for our campfire...I looked around the yard at the 15-20 piles of weeds...(I knew that wouldn't work)...

I really appreciated dinner being made by my wife. It's not like I wasn't busy today. I didn't get everything done I had planned, but I've figured out a new way to create my 'to do' list. I'm going to try tomorrow...I'll report back then.

Day 6

ALRIGHT! I’VE HAD IT! Today started with a major house cleaning! I’ve NEVER seen so much dirt! I moved the couches, rolled up the rug, dusted and vacuumed under the couches, ‘swiffered’ the entire 1st floor, especially under the dining room table…AND HIGH CHAIRS…THEY DON’T CATCH ANYTHING GRANT DOESN’T EAT…I mopped the entire kitchen/dining room area, and threw in a couple loads of laundry.

Lessons learned TODAY.

1. Vacuums should have retractable hoses AND cords

2. Laundry should have a statute of limitations…so many loads a week and it should all be done, for ever.

3. TO DO lists aren’t created in the morning…you fill them in throughout the day…you know, when you do something, you write it down and then cross it off.

4. No matter how you lay them down, popsicle makers don’t work unless they are standing upright (so they tell me), the ‘handles’ snap in.

5. I have a lot more ‘almosts’ than I do ‘dones’

I haven’t made a meal in 2 days now. My wife keeps stepping in and helping while I am ‘busy’ in other areas of the house. Going to have to step it up a little next week, starting tomorrow...and I won't be saying that whole 'tomorrow' thing tomorrow.

Today we took care of some weed piles in the yard (from yesterday-they too are like laundry, and I don’t like them either), we harvested some carrots from our garden, as did several neighbor kids (they had permission, this time), and I almost got the yard mowed…another ‘almost.’

Can't wait to get started next week on 'Mr. Mom part two.'

Day 7

I have heard  women say, “I love it when the kids go down for a nap” and “Nap time is when I get everything done during the day” and “I can’t wait until nap time.” First of all, it seems I either spend 15-20 minutes trying to get our son to take a nap, or I end up falling asleep with him…either way, I’m not very productive during that time. How is it that women can say they are so ‘productive’ around that time?!

Also, I have noticed that it takes me about 2 1/2 hours to start dinner and clean it up, not including the time it takes to eat it. Yet, somehow, when my wife fixes dinner it seems to take  her about 15 minutes to get everything prepared, 30 minutes to eat, and then 10 minutes to get everything cleaned up...?!?! Can someone tell me what I am missing here?! It's not that I'm ignorant, I just can't figure it out!

I love Sundays...they are indeed a time for napping, spending time with the family and relaxing. I just have to convince my brain to let go of thoughts like, 'Have to remember to get celery when I go shopping,' and 'dentist appointments on Thursday' and 'don't forget to call so-and-so,' and...how do you ladies do it?

I find my brain is on overload just about 95% of the day. In order to let my brain rest, I've figured out I'm going to have to start carrying around an ink pen and pad of paper to write things down so I don't forget later, water bottles in case anyone gets thirsty, extra banana in case our baby is hungry-I'M NOT NURSING! THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!-diaper bag for, well, you know, and then, just maybe, my brain will 'let go' and I'll be truly free!